


Someday (But Not Yet)

by brilliantbanshee



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [7]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, This is sad guys I'm so sorry, Worried TK, hurt owen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23611804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brilliantbanshee/pseuds/brilliantbanshee
Summary: When Owen is hurt TK is worried he is not strong enough to look after his dad. He is trying to be as strong as his dad would be for him, but some people remind him that his dad would be the first one to tell him it’s okay to feel.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1209081
Comments: 11
Kudos: 126
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand, Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Someday (But Not Yet)

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another bthb prompt, I made myself cry while writing this one. If you want to have some real fun while reading this try listening to "Someday" by Glorietta. I was listening to it as I wrote this and I blame them. 
> 
> Prompt: Voice breaking

No one is even really sure what happened. One moment everything was fine, the next the scene had turned into a massive inferno. 

The arson investigators were looking into it. They thought maybe there had been some sort of secondary device. 

TK couldn’t even bring himself to care. Maybe there was, maybe this was deliberate. Maybe there wasn’t and this had just been a tragic accident. Just “one of those things.” Having a category to put it in wouldn’t change the result. 

The result that in this case, was his dad in a hospital bed. The specifics of his injuries had filtered from the doctor in a blur, a mess of words like “smoke inhalation” and “2nd-degree burns” and “possible head trauma” and “medically induced coma.” All he could do was nod and try not to freak out. So far, he had succeeded (but it was only a matter of time). 

He had tried to ask the right questions, to make sure he had covered all the bases. It was too much though. His dad was so hurt and he could feel his control slipping. His dad was his rock, the one stable thing he had always been able to rely on, and now that he was gone (now that he was the problem himself) TK felt unmoored. 

He berates himself for it. He can’t afford to fall apart, not when his dad is relying on him. His dad would be there for him if the roles were reversed; he’s shown that time and time again. 

So he holds it together, puts on a brave face. He listens as the doctor’s talk, he asks for their advice when given a choice. He handles the situation the best he can. 

He can only hope it is enough. 

The rest of the crew and Carlos filter through, checking on Owen, checking on him, offering their support and companionship. He keeps up the brave face, refusing to show just how much despair he is actually feeling; how deep the hole that might fall in actually is. 

He knows he’s not fooling all of them. It takes far more planning than TK has the time or energy for to ever fool Paul, and Marjan certainly has her suspicions. He suspects that both Judd and Carlos can see right through his front, they both know him too well. 

Normally, that thought would bring comfort. There is an intimacy in being known. But now all TK can think is that he needs to maintain the facade, needs to stay strong, needs to stay on his toes. He doesn’t leave the hospital, choosing instead to sleep in the chair beside the bed. He accepts the food and coffee that is offered, he keeps the conversation to the minimum. Talk of his dad is too close to those walls for comfort; the right joke or memory might be the crack that breaks the dam. 

It’s day two when Carlos and Judd enter the room together. This is not altogether unusual, they both make a point to stop by whenever they can, but this entrance has an intervention vibe to it that TK is not loving. 

“Hey guys,” he says cautiously. 

Judd nods at him and Carlos crosses over to give him a quick kiss before they each settle down in chairs on the other side of the hospital bed. 

Definitely intervention vibes. He decides to just call them out on it, he doesn’t have the energy to play along with this. 

“Just say what you’ve gotta say, guys.” 

They look at each other for a moment (they clearly hadn’t expected to be starting so soon) before Carlos spoke.

“You know, your dad is an impressive guy. Tough, smart.”

“Great leader,” Judd interjected. 

TK ran a tired hand over his face, “Yeah I know. He’s the strongest person I know, always has been.” 

Judd and Carlos both nodded, and Carlos continued, “I’m not sure how much he’s told you about the time you were in the coma…”

TK shrugged, “Not too much, he was happy when I woke up and mother henned me for the first couple of days after, but then the solar storm happened and we just kind of moved on.”

“Well, then we can tell you that when you were in the coma, from the moment you were shot until the time you woke up, he was a mess.” 

TK looked up sharply, “What?”

Judd scoffed, “C’mon kid, think about it for a second. You know how much he cares about you, he’s never kept that a secret. And, well, things were pretty touch and go there for a while. I mean, we were all feeling it,” Judd said, indicating between Carlos and himself, both wearing grim expressions as they recalled that time, “but no one more than your dad. The thought of you not being okay, it wrecked him.”

TK looked between them, “What are you guys trying to say? Why are you telling me this?” He knew that neither Judd nor Carlos would ever set out to make him feel worse on purpose, but he was struggling to find any constructive reason for this conversation. All it had accomplished so far was to add on to the heaping pile of guilt he was already sitting in. 

“The point we’re trying to make,” Carlos said gently, “is that your dad wasn’t emotionless during that time. He had feelings, and he let them show. He cried, he got frustrated, he was upset. But at no point did that ever make him less capable of being there for you. And acknowledging what you’re feeling, letting it out - it won’t make you any less capable of helping him either.”

“We know you’re hurting brother, we all are,” Judd murmured softly, “it’s okay to let it show. No one is going to think any less of you for it, least of all your dad.” 

TK put his head down, focusing on where his hand was clasping his dad’s unmoving one. He gazed down at their hands quietly for a long moment before he finally spoke, voice shaking as he did. 

“It’s just, this is all too much. The head injury is bad enough as it is, but the smoke inhalation - I’m just so worried about how that will affect him. He has lung cancer for fuck’s sake, he’s already working with diminished lung capacity, and now this? How much more is he going to have to go through? He’s already survived 9/11, lost his whole team, he’s had me as a son and I’ve been a screw-up for most of my life and then he gets cancer and now this? I--,” here he paused, he voice breaking. He tried again, “I just don’t know how much more he’s actually going to be able to survive, and I can’t lose him. I’m not ready.”

He angrily wiped away a tear that was falling down his face. The room is silent save for the sounds of the equipment for several long moments. 

“Tyler,” Carlos finally says softly, “you are not a screw-up, and your dad has never thought that.” 

“How would you know Carlos?” he asks softly, still not meeting the eyes of the other two men.

“Because he told me.” 

This gets TK to look up, “What? When?” 

“When we were here before, but you were the one in the coma. He and I spent a lot of time together, here in this hospital when the roles were reversed. A lot of the time we sat in silence, but sometimes, he would talk about you. He would go on about how wonderful you were, and all these funny things you had done. He told me enough embarrassing stories that I am fully stocked up on blackmail material. He mentioned that you’d made mistakes, but he was  _ so _ proud of you for overcoming them. So, that particular argument is not even valid.” 

Judd cleared his throat before speaking, “As for the rest, yeah he’s been through a lot, that’s no secret. But he has made it through all those because he’s tough as they come and no, that doesn’t promise anything for now, but it does mean that he has the same chance to beat this that he did everything else.”

TK nodded in acknowledgment of Judd’s words. They came from a place of logic, and TK had been telling himself the same thing over and over again. He just couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it, not yet. 

“I can’t lose him,” he repeated again, feeling more tears coming down his face, “and even more than that, I won’t let him down.”

“You’ve been doing all you can brother, it’s between him and the almighty for now. The best thing you can do is be here.” Judd’s words were uncharacteristically soft. TK took a deep breath before looking up at his two companions. 

“Will you guys stay with me?” he asked, trying to hold his voice steady, but failing. 

“For as long as it takes,” Carlos promised and Judd nodded his affirmation. 

TK nodded and muttered a thanks that seemed so inadequate. He’s not sure what he had done right in his life to deserve these people, but he was thankful none the less. He glanced back down at his hand, still clasped with his dad’s unmoving one. He knew in his heart that what Carlos and Judd were saying was the truth, but it did silence his doubts or quell his fears. As much as he wanted to ignore it there was a very real possibility that his dad may not make it through this one and it was destroying him. 

Finally, with the silent support of two of the people he trusted most in the world, he allowed himself to break down.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay maybe it's not that sad, maybe I just need sleep. 
> 
> If you liked it leave a comment and let me know! If you hated it you can tell me that too I guess. 
> 
> Anyways, Happy Easter if you celebrate, happy day ?? of social distancing if not. 
> 
> As always stay safe, stay sane, and come prompt me on [tumblr](https://brillliantbanshee.tumblr.com/). I have two more requests left to finish and then it'll be back to shit like this that I come up with on my own.


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